Facial Hair Blogging

Posted Thursday, November 06, 2008 11:30 AM by Joe Napalm

Bumped up to allow a proper defense of my manliness...

My wife absolutely loves facial hair. She begs me almost weekly to grow a beard. But in an effort to remain employable, I only maintain a goatee. So, because my wife loves beards I share this with her ... and you.

  • "10 Very Good Reasons Why You Should Grow a Beard" [link] (Warning: Some stuff may be offensive.) My favorite: "It's like having machine guns on your face."
  • "20 Manliest Mustaches and Beards From Facial Hair History" [link]. There you go, dear. Yes, there is a picture of Sam Elliot, natch.
  • World Beard and Moustache Championships [link].
  • And, just in time for today's presidential election, I present "Facial Hair and Presidential Elections" [link]. "The last man to win the Presidency with facial hair was William Howard Taft...."

Update: The ladder rung on which my manliness rests was called into question in the comments. My remarks remain as written as I understand the definition of "goatee" and "Vandyck." Although some may call what I have a "Vandyck," the common parlance for my "circle beard" is "goatee." At times, it may be called an "oval goatee" or "California goatee." I have chin whiskers that do not extend past my laugh lines. My mustache extends past my lips and connects to the chin whiskers below.

And while I admit that my goatee does not place me on the upper rungs of manliness, my potential manliness exceeds most because ... I'm Joe Stinkin' Napalm. So, there.

Comments

# re: Facial Hair Blogging

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 6:35 PM by Fluffy Cow

Tom Selleck AND Sam Elliot??  *swoon*

# re: Facial Hair Blogging

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 7:22 PM by fleur_de_lis

My hubby has a Tom Selleck mustache, love it! As long as we have NO Andy Rooney eyebrows, it's all good.

# re: Facial Hair Blogging

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 11:53 AM by grafted

Just wondering if you really sport a goatee or not. Many people get a goatee mixed up with a van *** which is a combo of a moustache and a goatee. These things are important to clarify since it determines what rung on the manliness ladder you are on.

# re: Facial Hair Blogging

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 12:02 PM by grafted

So I guess security won't let me type  van *** (rhymes with type but uses a 'd' instead of a 't'). It's named after a Flemish painter for goodness sake, who's name sounds a lot worse than ***. Too funny.

# re: Facial Hair Blogging

Thursday, November 06, 2008 12:57 PM by grafted

Well as far as I'm concerned, those who sport just a goatee (or cool patch even)  can't climb the ladder at all unless they add a moustache. Facial hair just isn't manly without some form of moustache. With no upper lip hair, you're either Amish or wearing a turtleneck in some beatnik coffee shop, and that just doesn't register on my ladder.

# re: Facial Hair Blogging

Thursday, November 06, 2008 2:52 PM by :o)}

Hey, unless you have a full beard, you're not there yet!

:o)}

# re: Facial Hair Blogging

Thursday, November 06, 2008 5:47 PM by mrs.napalm

Sam Elliot! Wow! Now really I like more facial hair than that, but he does make it look good! I like a good beard. I will post on my blog what is my favorite type of beard. There is another I like, but I will have to find it and share later!