November 2008 - Posts
Two hundred years ago, the Congress of the United States issued a
Thanksgiving Proclamation stating that it was "the indispensable
duty of all nations" to offer both praise and supplication to God.
Above all other nations of the world, America has been especially
blessed and should give special thanks. We have bountiful harvests,
abundant freedoms, and a strong, compassionate people.
I have always believed that this anointed land was set apart in an
uncommon way, that a divine plan placed this great continent here
between the oceans to be found by people from every corner of the Earth
who had a special love of faith and freedom. Our pioneers asked that He
would work His will in our daily lives so America would be a land of
morality, fairness, and freedom.
Today we have more to be thankful for than our pilgrim mothers and
fathers who huddled on the edge of the New World that first Thanksgiving
Day could ever dream. We should be grateful not only for our blessings,
but for the courage and strength of our ancestors which enable us to
enjoy the lives we do today. Let us reaffirm through prayers and
actions our thankfulness for America's bounty and heritage.
Now, Therefore, I, Ronald Reagan, President of the United States of
America, do hereby proclaim Thursday, November 25, 1982, as a National
Day of Thanksgiving and I call upon all of our citizens to set aside
that day for appropriate expressions of thanksgiving.
In Witness Where Of, I have here unto set my hand this 27th day of
Sept. in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and eighty-two, and of
the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and
seventh. (September 27, 1982)
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
[World's Funniest Joke research]
"To err is human. To arrr is pirate." - Unknown.
... or "Obama's Losers Cont'd".
Actually the quote will air this weekend on "The Chris Matthews Show." Bob Woodward said (will say?) this concerning Obama's choice of Hillary Clinton as SoS:
Being president is about control, and tell me who ever controlled Bill or Hillary Clinton. They can't control each other. ... I think it's because Warren Buffett and Paul Volcker and others have convinced Obama, 'You're going to have to focus like a laser on the economy. That's issue Number One. And give Hillary and Bill the world.' ... I think people are fantasizing or smoking something if they think Joe Biden's going to call Hillary Clinton up and say, 'This is what we want you to do.' [link]
1. Alternative energies: Wind, solar, nuclear, ocean wave, geothermal, hydroelectric, just to name a few. But why has no one consider lardy ladies? You may also know them as "heap big" women. It is a renewable source and can be found as close as home. In researching the subject, I found that it was first proposed to a live sell-out crowd in Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, England in 1982 by a Mr. Freddie Mercury. The fact is fat-bottomed girls make the rockin' world go 'round. And I ask what can we do to harness this energy? And why has no one considered it?
2. Eat, drink and be Joe.
3. For my samurai sister: Vintage Geisha Postcards [link]. By the way, Em, is "samurai" correct or should have I used "ronin"? Or maybe "ninja"? Or "daimyo" or "shogun"? Sorry, I just can't keep it straight.
4. Everyone loves the Muppets. And if you don't then you're a pagan, Axis of Evil snot hole. For the rest of you fun-loving Americans, spend some time here: [link].
5. The camping trip to Mammoth Cave National Park went off well. We drove up, rode the ferry across the Green River, parked at Good Spring Church and hiked in Friday night. The weather was great, the food awesome and the conversation was good. Saturday morning was wet and cold so we moved into a hotel room. Saturday afternoon, we toured the historic entrance to Mammoth Cave and ... wow! That thing is huuuge. We ate a thin, nasty steak for dinner and drove home Sunday. The best part was BJ's cousin's account of life in Peru, Indiana, which, according to him, is a mix of amateur circus Amish people who drink heavily. Funny stuff, really.
6. I fell down laughing while playing this game: [link].
7. Via Neatorama.com, "Noah's Blog" at the Wittenburg Door: [link].
8. That's it. I'll end it here. Tomorrow is flag football. Next week is vacation. Maybe I can talk the missus into Asheville and Biltmore. Thursday is Thanksgiving, the greatest holiday ever. Friday is a family hike. Saturday is a turkey shoot. And on and on and on. Have a great weekend. See you on Monday. Love ya.
Does it bother anyone else that President-Elect Obama is appointing losers to key positions and that losers are moving into key senate chairs? I don't mean losers in the sense of a wretch, deadbeat or someone that is not cool. I mean "loser" in the sense of someone who doesn't or didn't win. Follow me on this:
- Rahm Emanuel - White House Chief of Staff
- You may think of former First Lady Hillary Clinton as the figurehead for universal health care, but Mr. Emmanuel was the real strategist behind the failed initiative.
- He also orchestrated the Rabin / Arafat handshake in the White House's Rose Garden during the signing of the Oslo Accords. The only fading memory of the Oslo Accords is that it did not initiate peace; it caused the withdrawal of Israeli
forces settlers from Jericho and the Gaza Strip; and it has been viewed subsequently as a failed treaty that led to the worsening of conditions for most Palestinians.
- Emanuel was named to the Board of Directors for "Freddie Mac" by Bill Clinton.
- Tom Daschle - Health and Human Services Secretary (pending confirmation)
- Another universal health care proponent who lost in the 2004 Congressional elections.
- Eric Holder - United States Attorney General (pending vetting)
- His participation in the presidential pardon of Marc Rich is concerning. Marc Rich was an international commodities trader who was indicted by US Attorney Giuliani on charges of tax evasion and illegal trading with Iran. He was on the FBI's Most Wanted list for years while living in Switzerland. Just hours before leaving office on January 20, 2001, President Clinton granted Rich a presidential pardon. Holder had a small part in it.
- While D.C. v. Heller was being heard by the Supreme Court in 2008, Holder urged the Supreme Court justices to uphold Washington, D.C.'s handgun ban by arguing that the Second Amendment does not protect the rights of individuals to own guns for personal use.
- Hillary Clinton - Secretary of State (pending vetting)
- One word: Hillarycare. Clinton was appointed chairwoman of the Task Force on National Health Care Reform by her husband.
- Wife of impeached President Bill Clinton
- The Whitewater controversy -- the files were found in her office!
And, on top of this, I read today that Massachusetts Senator John Kerry, the haughty, French-looking Democrat who served in Vietnam, is set to chair the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.
All of 'em losers! What's next? General Wesley Clark (Retired) as Secretary of Defense? Predatory lending princess Penny Pritzker as Commerce secretary? Anita Hill's attorney, Gov. Janet Napolitano as head of the Department of Homeland Security?
Or how about Rolling Stones wildman Keith Richards as the head of the Office of National Drug
A “JESUS” film team was returning home from showing the film to a
village of unreached people. They were tired, but happy for what God
had done. It was late at night, as they drove along the isolated road
in a rough area…a time when thieves were active. Suddenly on the
darkened road, a red light flashed behind them. It was the police.
“Where did you get this equipment? Did you steal it? Show us your receipts, your paperwork. Prove that you are the owners,” the police demanded.
Because the portable projection equipment and generators had been given
by partners in America and shipped in a large batch, the team didn’t
have individual receipts. Unable to prove they were not thieves, the
police took it all, for the moment ending their ministry.
Read the rest, including the unexpected and wonderful conclusion here: [link].
"Guns are not toys. They're tools ... with which you blow large holes in people." - Joe Napalm, yesterday.
Let me just take a brief moment to tell you that the theme song to "Airwolf" was quite possibly the most awesome TV show theme song ... evah! [link]
A close second and third are the themes to "A-Team" [link] and "Magnum, P.I." [link]. And while I'm at it, let me give a shout out to "The Fall Guy," "Laverne & Shirley," "Taxi," "Barney Miller," "Sanford and Son," "Night Court" and "Hogans Heroes." Holy frijoles, TV rocked when I was a kid.
This time I'm traveling on business to the land of "Touchdown Jesus." A coworker who is going with me sent a weather alert that showed two to four inches of lake-effect snow per hour is in the forecast for tomorrow. Sounds like adventure. See you on Wednesday.
That pesky Roadrunner foiled us again ... [link]
On the radio Friday morning I heard Dr. Stephen Davey preach a sermon. In it he included this funny anecdote about praise songs and hymns -- a battle raging in churches today.
An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. "Well," said the farmer. "It was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns."
"Praise choruses?" asked the wife. "What are those?"
"Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like hymns, only different," said the farmer.
"Well, what's the difference?" asked the wife.
The farmer said, "Well it's like this ... If I were to say to you, 'Martha, the cows are in the corn,' well that would be a hymn. If, on the other hand, I were to say to you, 'Martha, Martha, Martha, Oh, Martha, MARTHA, MARTHA, the cows, the big cows, the brown cows, the black cows, the white cows, the black and white cows, the COWS, COWS, COWS are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, in the CORN, CORN, CORN, COOOOORRRRRNNNNN,' then, if I were to repeat the whole thing two or three times, well that would be a praise chorus."
As luck would have it, the exact same Sunday a young, new Christian from the city church attended the small town church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. "Well," said the young man, "It was good. They did something different, however. They sang hymns instead of regular songs."
"Hymns?" asked the wife. "What are those?"
"They're okay. They're sort of like regular songs, only different," said the young man.
"Well, what's the difference?" asked the wife.
The young man said, "Well it's like this ... If I were to say to you, 'Martha, the cows are in the corn,' well that would be a regular song. If on the other hand, I were to say to you,
Oh Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my cry
Inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth.
Turn thou thy whole wondrous ear by and by
To the righteous, glorious truth.
For the way of the animals who can explain
There in their heads is no shadow of sense,
Hearkenest they in God's sun or his rain
Unless from the mild, tempting corn they are fenced.
Yea those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight,
Have broke free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed.
Then goaded by minions of darkness and night
They all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn chewed.
So look to that bright shining day by and by,
Where all foul corruptions of earth are reborn
Where no vicious animal makes my soul cry
And I no longer see those foul cows in the corn,
...Then, if I were to do only verses one, three and four, and change keys on the last verse, well that would be a hymn."
I am away from my desk and unable to post. If I'm not back by Monday, please call the Mammoth Cave National Park Ranger Station [link] and tell them that BJ lost Joe Napalm and you want him back -- Joe, not BJ. I mean, who wants BJ? Pfft.
OK. See you on the other side of the weekend. Buh-bye.
My sister is pregnant with her third child and she's going crazy: [Link]
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At Oak Ridge National Laboratory (ORNL), you are not suppose to look out the window in the morning. Why? Well, what would you do in the afternoon?
As I was walking back to my office, I paused and thought, "I work at a pretty cool place."
1. Every morning I drive into a facility that was initially part of the Manhattan Project during World War II. Initially called X-10, ORNL was the home of the world's first production nuclear reactor.
2. While driving to the parking lot, I pass the entrances to the Spallation Neutron Source (SNS), the world's most powerful neutron source; the High Flux Isotope Reactor (HFIR), the world's only source of Calfornium-252; and the Electron Linear Accelerator Pulsed Neutron Source (ORELA).
3. After parking and entering the building, I pass the room that contains some of the world's most powerful computers. Currently, the Jaguar is the labeled the world's most powerful computer. Read about it [here].
4. I finally make my way up to the third floor of the new research facility that was part of the recent $350 million modernization project at ORNL. See the [before] (facing west) and the [after] (facing east).
5. I then unlock and enter my 129 square foot office, sit down behind my two 22" monitors, and turn on my Intel Core 2 Quad CPU with 2.66 GHz processor and 4.00 GB of RAM.
6. And if that is not enough, I remotely log-on to a Linux cluster that contains 36 nodes with each node containing 4 CPUs, running at 2 GHz and having 30 GB of RAM each.
7. After "working" hard, I make my way down to the cafeteria where the food is pretty good. It was especially good today because it was the Thanksgiving Dinner Special, which included your choice of oven-roasted turkey breast or baked Virginia ham with raisin glaze, cornbread dressing, chicken gravy, choice of two sides, roll, and dessert. All of that for only $7.59.
8. With a full stomach, I return back to my office, "work" a little more, check out Steeple Media (maybe post myself), and then "work" some more.
What a place to work! I do not say it to brag; it just dawned on me today, and I thought I should share. Now it is time to go look out the window!