Name: Joe Napalm
Age: Wisdom of a 90-year old, courage of a 20-year old.
Height: Let's just say that you look up to me when you talk.
Turn ons: Getting a parking space close to the door at Wal-Mart. Red meat. The smell of expended ball powder on a foggy morning. Romeo y Julietta Churchill cigars. The thud of artilery rounds impacting. A good book.
Turn offs: Invertebrates. Men who talk too much. Butchy women. Body butter.