Some of the fireworks were computer generated; the featured ‘singer' only lip-synched because the girl with the better voice had crooked teeth; some of the Chinese women's gymnastic team are only 14; a Spanish cyclist has become the first Olympic athlete tossed from the Games for failing a drug test; and we won't even go into the censorship issues.  Is there nothing good about these Beijing Olympics?

You betcha there is!  How about the US Men's Relay team edging out the French in an unbelievable comeback to win the gold?  How about Michael Phelps himself becoming the winningest Olympian ever when he picked up his fifth gold medal of the Summer Games?   Here's what's been completed and what remains for the swimmer:

Day                        Event                               Time/result

Saturday             400 individual medley              Gold

Sunday 400         free relay                               Gold

Monday               200 free                                 Gold

Tuesday               200 butterfly                          Gold

Tuesday               800 free relay                        Gold

Thursday             200 individual medley            10:48 p.m.

Friday                  100 butterfly                        10:10 p.m.

Saturday              400 medley relay                 10:58 p.m.

Kristin Armstrong won gold in the women's cycling time trial  - only the 2^nd US woman ever to win gold in cyling - and  Levi Leipheimer won bronze in the men's event.

So far, the US leads in the medal total with 29 - 10 gold, 8 silver, 11 bronze.  We've won medals in men's and women's swimming, cycling, equestrian (silver), fencing (gold, silver, bronze), gymnastics, and men's and women's shooting. 

U-S-A!  U-S-A!!  U-S-A!!!

Yep, as reported first by Fox Sports, Brett Favre has been traded to the New York Jets.

As a Bears fan, can I ask just one thing?  Can we get on with our lives now, people?  I mean, seriously folks, he retired this spring; a grand total of about a hundred people have shown up to chant "Bring Back Brett" since he decided to unretire; it's time to move along, nothing to see here.

As announced in the Packers' Press release:

"Brett has had a long and storied career in Green Bay, and the Packers owe him a tremendous debt of gratitude for everything he accomplished.  It is with some sadness that we make this announcement, but also with the desire for certainty that will allow us to move the team and organization forward in the most positive way possible."

Yes, even the Packers are glad tis is over.  They moved on with their lives when he retired, and they just weren't ready for him to jump back into things.  Good for them. 

Yep, Chicago Cubbies are up on top.  Woo hoo!  It's almost the All Break and the Cubs have a better record than any other team in baseball.  How did this happen?  WHO CARES?  Well, really, I care.  And so do Cubs' fans everywhere.

But we still don't talk about what it might mean.  Superstitious?  Us?  Nah!  We just want to maintain a calm enjoyment of the remainder of the season.  No need to get excited.  No, this is just a wonderful sport with a bunch of fun loving guys.  

OMG! The Cubs have the best record in baseball!!!!!

Sorry, couldn't help myself.
 

...again.  Who didn't see this one coming?  This is a guy who just doesn't know how to give it a rest.  But this time, instead of welcoming him back with open arms, the Green Bay Packers response has been to ignore, and then politely decline, Favre's pleas...and phone calls...and text messages.  Yep, they have let him know they have made their decision to move forward, and that they will not jump when he calls any longer.  Move along, nothing to see here folks.  EXCEPT...

Except that now there is the possibility they may say "okay", reactivate him and then trade his sorry old butt to another team. 

Wait, did you just say Brett Favre might be available?  I mean, so what if he retires again in another year.  So what if he's old.  I mean, he's Brett Favre.  How do you think you'd look in blue and orange, Brett?  And why not?  I mean, McMahon went to Green Bay after he left the Bears, turnabout is fair play.  Besides, anything has to be better than having Rex Grossman, right?  Right? 
 

AMERICAN LEAGUE                                             NATIONAL LEAGUE                                 

East                W        L          PCT    GB                  East                W        L          PCT    GB
Tampa Bay    32        22        0.593  -                       Florida            30        22        0.577  -
Boston           32        24        0.571  1                      Philadelphia    31        24        0.564  0.5   
Toronto          30        26        0.536  3                      Atlanta             29        25        0.537  2
Baltimore       26        26        0.500  5                      New York        26        26        0.500  4
New York       26        27        0.491  5.5                   Washington    23        32        0.418  8.5
Central          W        L          PCT    GB                  Central           W        L          PCT    GB
Chicago         30        23        0.566  -                     Chicago          33        21        0.611  -
Minnesota     28        25        0.528  2                     St. Louis         32        23        0.582  1.5
Cleveland      24        29        0.453  6                     Houston          30        25        0.545  3.5
Detroit            22        31        0.415  8                    Milwaukee      26        28        0.481  7
Kansas City 21        33        0.389  9.5                   Pittsburgh       25        28        0.472  7.5
West               W        L          PCT    GB                 Cincinnati       25        29        0.463  8
Los Angeles 32        23        0.582  -                       West                W        L          PCT    GB
Oakland         29       25        0.537  2.5                   Arizona           30       24         0.556  -
Texas             27       28        0.491  5                      Los Angeles   26       27         0.491  3.5
Seattle            20      34        0.370  11.5                San Francisco23       31          0.426  7
                                                                                    San Diego       21        34       0.382  9.5
                                                                                    Colorado          20       34        0.370  10

What’s wrong with this picture?  Please look carefully.  Do you notice something in red?  Why yes, yes that IS the winning percentage for the Chicago Cubs.  No, it’s not in red because they are in negative numbers.  It happens to be red because they have THE BEST FREAKING RECORD IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL! 

Sorry, pardon the yelling, I couldn’t help myself.  I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

It's May; the second month in the Major League Baseball season.  But something is seriously amiss here, folks.  Let's see, what could be the problem.

Mid-May and still dealing with frost warnings?  Check. 

Daily temps still lucky to make it to 50 degrees?  Check.

Mutant squirrels devastating every last tulip that pokes its head out of the ground?  Check.

Front lawn a lovely shade of crabgrass green?  Check.

What could possibly be wrong then?  Oh, you mean the Cubs seem to have figured out how to play baseball before it's too late?  Gasp!  It's the end of the world as we know it!  Actually, it's about freaking time!  I mean it's only been what, one HUNDRED years since they won the World Series? 

Now, now, don't panic.  After all, just because they seem to have it all together does not mean it won't fall apart down the road.  I mean, after all, there's a lovely opportunity for a June swoon or to die in July or even for the August bust (trust me, I've heard them all many, many, many, many times).  But for a change it has been great to not dread looking at the sports page in the morning, flipping quickly past the standings to read about oh, I don't know, golf or even the never-ending NBA season. 

But I've been thinking.  Maybe this cold weather has had something to do with it...

A guy from Chicago dies and goes to ...that place that isn't heaven.  (Oh, I'd say stop me if you've heard this one before, but I know you've heard it so too bad.  Just be quiet and enjoy the story.)

When he gets there, he meets Lucifer.  "Mwahahaha....welcome to Hell.  I hope you enjoy the heat."

"What's the big deal?  I'm from Chicago, I know heat."

"Oh, really?" queries Lucifer. " Well, let me make it just a bit warmer for you" and he proceeds to turn up the flames.

"Is that all you can do?  So what.  That's no worse than standing around on the platform, waiting for the L."

"Hmmph!  I'll show you!"  And he turns the heat up again.

"Blah, blah, blah, heat-schmeat.  Try working in a fifth floor office where the AC doesn't work, the windows don't open and the elevator is out of order!"

Lucifer is getting really ticked at this point, and opens the burners full blast.

"Oh, my, this is just like being stuck on the Edens in rush hour traffic and your engine is boiling over.  Meh."

"Okay, buddy" he thinks "I'll fix you!" and he flips the dial all the way down the other way.   The guy is stunned.  He's beyond belief.  He looks around and sees icicles forming and snow starting to fall.  Then he starts jumping up and down and screaming and yelling.  Lucifer begins to chuckle to himself.  All of a sudden, he realizes the guy isn't upset.  No, he's ecstatic...what is that he's yelling?  Lucifer listens closely to hear....

"The Cubs win the World Series! The Cubs win the World Series!  Hell has frozen over and we win the World Series!"

Hey, a girl has to have dreams, doesn't she?

The first round in the 2008 NFL Draft is scheduled to begin at 3:00 PM Eastern on Saturday, April 26.  Although New England lost the 31^st pick overall in the first round as a penalty for the Patriot-gate incident, they traded up and are picking 7^th overall.  Hmmm, doesn't seem like much of a punishment now, does it?

Will you be watching?  Got a favorite player you're hoping to see picked?  Does your team really have a need for a particular position?  Mine does, but there is no hope.  I mean you'd think as a Bears fan I would be glad we are no longer facing Brett Favre.  Hah!  Lot of good that does, look who we'll still have quarterbacking this year!  Doomed....we're doomed, I tell you!

OK, so it's not EXACTLY the same thing.  But I still think Bill Murray said it best in Caddyshack:  "Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!"

So he isn't a former greenskeeper.  But what the heck, the rest of it applies to South African Trevor Immelman's (Trevor who?)  winning the Masters Tournament Sunday at Augusta National.  Even Tiger Woods couldn't get it together enough to catch 28-year old Immelman in his quest for a first Major victory EVER.  He's the first player since 1980 to lead (or share the lead) for every round. 

Saturday night, his boyhood hero Gary Player, who won his third and final Masters title 30 years ago, left a voicemail for Trevor "I know you're going to win."  How cool was that!

Oh, and that OTHER guy everyone expected to come from behind and win a fifth green jacket and 14^th major?  Maybe Trevor could give him a few putting lessons.

STATEMENT FROM PACKERS GENERAL MANAGER TED THOMPSON:

Brett Favre has informed us of his intention to retire from the Green Bay Packers and the NFL. He has had one of the greatest careers in the history of the National Football League, and he is able to walk away from the game on his own terms - not many players are able to do that.

The Packers owe him a tremendous debt of gratitude. He has given Packers fans 16 years of wonderful memories, a Super Bowl championship among them, that will live on forever. Brett's many accomplishments on the field are legendary. He leaves the game holding virtually every career passing record, plus his consecutive starts streak, which may never be duplicated.

The uniqueness of Brett Favre - his personality, charisma and love of the game - undoubtedly will leave him as one of the enduring figures in NFL history. 

This is from me:

Although I am a lifelong Bears fan, even I will admit Brett Favre has had an incredible career.  Still doesn't help the Bears though since they decided to re-sign Rex Grossman for crying out loud!! What were they thinking?!  Sheesh.  Favre retires and we still don't have a snowballs chance in...

Favre, who came to the Packers 17 years ago in a trade with the Atlanta Falcons, holds nearly every record there is for a quarterback.  His stats show an impressive 5,377 career completions in 8,758 attempts for 61,655 yards, 442 touchdowns and 288 interceptions.  He broke Dan Marino's touchdown record this past season.  Favre was voted in to nine Pro Bowls and led the team to two Super Bowl appearances. 

As of Tuesday morning, Cook stated that there were no plans for Favre to hold a press conference.

The official website of Brett Favre does not yet have confirmation, but is reporting on the story. 

http://www.officialbrettfavre.com/news/story_01330467aab8/

Image courtesy of Washington Post 

THAT CAR LOOKS FAMILIAR

When Charles Chambers showed up at the Anderson, SC sheriff's office to demand the return of money seized during a drug arrest, he probably would have been wise to call a cab. 

After deputies told him to leave, one of them noticed that the car he was getting into matched the description of a reported stolen vehicle.  He was pulled over and told to stop.  He had to stick a screwdriver in the ignition to turn the vehicle off.  It seems the ignition switch had been removed.

D'oh!

I DON'T THINK YOU'LL GET ANY INTEREST ON THAT

An employee at the Kitsap Credit Union in Bremerton, WA was processing the night deposits when he noticed that one of the envelopes contained not only money, but methamphetamines. 

The police were notified and they contacted the 18-year old customer.  Although they aren't quite certain, they think the bag might have been in her pocket and accidentally put in with the money when she pulled it out to make the deposit. 

Let's HOPE it was accidental, ‘cause I'd hate to think someone was THAT stupid!

BACK OFF, OR I'LL MAKE YOU WATCH RERUNS OF "THE DATING GAME"!

Poor Geoffrey Fryatt.  He had a great life and a lovely home at the Fairways Golf and Lifestyle Retreat in Brisbane, Australia.  Unfortunately, his finance broker defrauded him of his life savings.  That was enough to push Fryatt over the edge.  The 57-year old was arrested by an elite paramilitary plice group after frightening his neighbors with a knife and then threatening to blow up a cache of chemicals with a remote. 

"One push of the button will blow up half of Brisbane".  Fortunately, the only thing that remote worked on was the television in his living room. 

EWWWW!

Talk about not right in the head!  Carlton Jermaine Davis of Minnesota is just plain weird.  Maybe that's too mild of a word. 

What did he do?  Well, according to the criminal complaint, he approached a woman leaving work, robbed her of her keys and cell phone, put them in a bag and then told her "I'm going to suck your feet."

Police arrested him a few minutes later.  He was sentenced to five years' probation. 

BEWARE OF FALLING...

Moose?  Well, it wasn't quite a typical day when Alaska State Trooper Howard Peterson saw what he though was a rock falling about 20 feet in front of his patrol car.  It happens on the Seward Highway south of Anchorage every now and then.  "Falling rock!" is what he said he thought as he prepared to steer clear if it bounced onto the highway.

But it didn't bounce.  It didn't break.  It didn't even roll.  No, it just kind of lay there...dead.  It seems that it was a moose that had fallen off a cliff and landed next to  the highway.

"They occasionally have bad days like the rest of us," said wildlife biologist Rick Sinnott. "They slip and fall. Maybe he was reaching for a branch and the snow just gave way."  Maybe he'd had enough, and just couldn't take it another day...

Wow, that's SOME bad day!  Hope yours is better!

"He hit me!"

"He hit me first!"

"Nuh uh!!!  He started it!!"

No, that isn't a transcript of my boys and their latest brush up.  Well, it is, but put that aside for now because this time the parties involved are Kurt Busch and Tony Stewart. 

After all was said and done, NASCAR has now handed out what it deems to be the appropriate penalty.  One that lets everyone know that these guys went too far - but  just a little.  On Tuesday it was announced that they will each be put on probation for six races.  No, not secret double probation, just the "you guys had better watch it" kind.

According to NASCAR spokesman Ramsey Poston if they had done their bumping and shoving on pit road where crew members were working, instead of out on the track, the measures would have been more severe. 

"We took a lot into consideration," Poston said. "The drivers do have greater latitude, pit road was closed, there was no personnel on the track. It's an emotional sport, there's emotion on the track. They should not have been banging each other after the accident. But they were not banging each other on a 'hot' pit road. That is very different and would have been dealt with much more severely."

"In the past we've used 'probation for the rest of the year,' but it's never been something that's been exercised. It never seemed to really mean anything," Poston said. "Now we are going to take action. If you are on probation for an altercation with another driver, and you have a second incident during that probation period, we are going to take action."

Now, if you watched the video or read the accounts on what happened, you might be wondering why Stewart was being punished equally to Busch, since it appeared that Kurt just might have overreacted to the bumping incident - even if he did end up wrecking into the wall.  That part wasn't involved in the punishment.  No, Kurt's comes from him deliberately driving into Tony not once, but twice on the track and then blocking him from heading to the garage.  Tony's - well, his comes from the next part.  Apparently, when they got back to the garage, Tony blocked Kurt from getting in.  He then tried to get out of the car and go after him physically.  Now, if you've seen Tony Stewart this year, you may have noticed that he added a few extra pounds in the off season, maybe a few more than usual.  (Hey, maybe we can get him to join Fit Club!!)  I guess Kurt commented on that.  Which is why, when they got into the official's trailer, Tony took a swing at Kurt.

"He hit me!"

"Yeah, but he called me names!"

Maybe next time they should just send them to their room and tell them if they can't play nice...

Fans watch the ramming incident

Kurt Busch talks to reporters 

Tony Stewart

All images courtesy of AP 

It's that time of year when three little words set my heart to fluttering.  Yes, they are among the three most beautiful words in the world! 

No, not "I love you".  Sheesh, I mean, those three words aren't just for this time of year.  No, what gets my pulse racing right about now are the words:  "Pitchers, catchers report."  Yea, baby!!  It's baseball time!!!

So, how long did it take for the drama to begin with the new season of NASCAR?  Not even 24 hours.  On just the first day of Speedweeks, the bad blood between Tony Stewart and Kurt Busch was flowing full force.  If this is a preview of things to come, man, you better buckle yourself in, it's going to be a WILD ride!

The two played a game of bumper tag during the final practice session on Friday, with predictable results.  So what happened?  Tony bumped Kurt and spun him into the wall, Tony went low and hit teammate Denny Hamlin.  But it didn't end there.  Oh, no it kept right on going. Kurt charged after Tony and hit his car...and hit it again...and again...and then he blocked him from driving off the track to the garage.

But it gets better!  On Saturday morning, Tony and Kurt were called to THE trailer to meet with NASCAR officials to discuss the incidents.  And although it was originally reported as a "civil" meeting, apparently NASCAR has a different idea about civil than the rest of us.  When they got in the trailer, Tony apparently hauled off and smacked Kurt.  Not very hard, since he didn't leave any marks, but he popped him one nonetheless.

So, what does NASCAR have to say about all of this?  I mean, we all know the two of them have a history and this altercation (on the track at least) brought back memories of the one last season at Dover International.  That time, Busch was upset (heck, he was furious) at Stewart for another on-track incident, drove next to Stewart's car on pit road during a race at Dover International Speedway, nearly hitting one of Stewart's crew members.  That one cost Kurt a fine of $100,000 and he was docked 100 points.

NASCAR officials have cracked down on misbehavior in recent years.  But, they came into this season saying they were more receptive to drivers showing their emotions - the "NASCAR we fell in love with," as NASCAR spokesman Jim Hunter called it.

Both drivers have downplayed the whole incident.  And, as for bringing back the "old" NASCAR?  "When I say that's the NASCAR we fell in love with, I'm not talking about a guy taking his car and ramming another car on the race track," Hunter said. "I'm talking about drivers getting out and showing that I'm mad, I'm upset and venting that emotion. They certainly did that."

When asked if it would have been better if they had gotten out of their cars and gone at it on the track?

"Absolutely," Hunter said. "I'm not saying I would have liked to have seen them get out of the car and duke it out. If they were going to do that, I would hope they would have enough sense to keep their helmets on."

Man, this is gonna be one heck of a season!

Since no one correctly predicted the winner of the Super Bowl, how about another contest then?  This one was proposed by lilaislin:

I think that's a pretty good idea, so I'll tell you what - I will accept cheers, songs or even haiku.  The person who comes up with the best one wins the prize.  So, get your pom-pons out, rev up your "Rah! Rah!"s and away we go....