It's easy to guard downtown Toronto for a simple reason

The most hardcore protesters of the day, June 22: courtesy Toronto Police Service's "LGBT protest on Queen St. W. without incident" album. Photo credit: Kevin Masterman Writer/Photographer for Toronto Police

Security guards have a cushy job guarding the lobbies of the big fancy downtown office towers during G20 week.

They of course have a solemn duty to make sure anyone getting in the building has a proper security card. I do believe the two gentleman guarding our lobby almost glanced at the card clipped to my belt as I wandered in out of the rain yesterday.

If they asked, I would have of course good-naturedly held up my pass for closer inspection.

"Yes, it is in fact I, Super Auditor."

Or whatever.

This is of course unnecessary: since I am able to dress the part of Super Auditor, Defender of Capitalism, or whatever you want to call the productive inhabitants of the downtown core, the hard plastic card I carry with me is almost entirely superfluous - except for the fact I need it to open locked doors, but that's another story.

The "dirty hippie" protestors and their anarcho-syndicalist revolutionaries are nary a threat. Yes, they lack my snazzy plastic access cards. Forget about stealing police uniforms - they lack the buttoned up shirts and dress shoes needed to truly pose a threat. That, and they whine like petulant children when they neglect to safeguard their flagpoles, which are then promptly "yoinked" by Toronto Police (see the fantastic video below).

I suppose it doesn't help that it's raining outside - quite the disincentive to join a large march. Unless you are smart and prepared, like the group above, that equipped itself with some dazzling pink ponchos.

On a more practical level, these groups don't show any interest in overrunning AuditLand - step one would be to dress the part. I won't reveal anything beyond "step one", of course - that's what consultants charge the big bucks for, isn't it?

They don't even make it as far as step one, which is why anyone in business casual attire is immediately not held up as a suspect. The security team, as a result, is significantly less edgy than they otherwise would be. Which I suppose makes for a much more pleasant work environment. Thanks for that.

I have to salute those who did make the grey, rainy & otherwise dreary Tuesday a bit more colourful, though: good show on Queen Street!

No negative incidents at all as Toronto Police indicate - at least on the part of the protesters. There was, that aforementioned "yoink" to the flagpoles, as well as the story of the crazy lady who apparently tried to ram her way through a protest with her car. The second picture is courtesy of Now Magazine. The driver then apparently complained to the police about, whatever zany complaint you can come up with after trying to do something absolutely mad

I'll assume she blamed society - seems like the thing to do.

Bonus: video from the most hardcore protest of Monday, courtesy of Now Magazine's Paul Terefenko:

 Edit: the Toronto Star has a tongue-in-cheek/serious article on the same topic that just came out.

"G20 fashions for the militant and fabulous

Wear the wrong thing, get tear gassed

 Dressing for G20 protests is tricky. Look too corporate and you might be paintbombed. Dress like a militant protester, you run the risk of being tear gassed.

But have a stylist help you, you look fabulous.

“If you’re leading (these protests) and you know pictures are being taken of you, why not look good?” said Kathryn McEwen, the general manager of Queen St. W. boutique Fashion Crimes"

It's scary when a serious newspaper's article can easily be mixed up with something from the Onion.