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Timesinks

KPMG overtime lawsuit settlement letters go out; unrelated adrenalin rush occurs

 

You no doubt already heard about the big KPMG overtime lawsuit.

But if you haven't, and you used to work for KPMG in Canada in the past few years, then you do now! That's because you recently received a letter disclosing what your share of the settlement is going to be.

If you were an administrative staff person supposed to work 40 hours a week, no more, no less, the letter will indicate some dollar figure, your share of the almost $10 million settlement.

Intriguingly, you'll get that letter even if you weren't an administrative person - that is, a young CA student or similar 'overtime exempt' professional employee.

And what will the letter will tell you?

It will say that your share of the settlement is zero dollars.

Wow.

Thanks for your service, this doesn't apply to you, have a nice day.

I wavered between thinking "well, that makes sense", and "that's completely insane, why would you rub salt in the wounds of someone who presumably left because they were tired of working for you?"

The latter thought dominated my thinking, of course.

I can think of harsher ways to slap someone in the face, but "pointing out the obvious", when "the obvious" means "I'm giving you nothing", ranks up there with sucker punching a fellow passenger on the subway.

Shortly after hearing the above news - through my surprisingly wide grape-vine - I did in fact have to pull a drunken brawler out of a subway car. This guy actually attacked someone on a subway car. Who does that?

Well, this guy, clearly. While the rather large crowd of rush hour commuters pondered what to do about the uncouth man, he decided to pull a runner after (gently) shoving me in the chest.

I gave chase.

He cried "don't touch me."

What?

You just beat up a guy on the subway train and you're telling me not to touch you? Get real.

I wavered between tackling the man or just taking a cell phone photo of him. Yeah, I didn't have my big camera with me tonight. I left all my gear at work for once.

The cell phone is hardly a high speed piece of equipment, though I do love the quality of its pictures, when the lens isn't covered with dust!

Anyway, tackling the guy was also low on my list of Good Ideas considering how messy a second brawl on a staircase could get. Wouldn't that be a great headline?

CA student tackles man down 40 stairs, breaking neck, bones. Subway service delayed.

Shudder.

I'd hate to be responsible for a major subway delay.

Seriously. How embarrassing. Positively gauche.

So instead I followed him instead - right up the stairs. This being my station, I knew which way he was headed - right for the 'official' exit. Though technically you have four different ways of leaving, not counting the infinite possibilities associated with jumping fences.

This strange man's path took him right up to the station fare collector's booth. Good place to report someone, which I did. The fare collector pointed out that there was a police car conveniently parked in the station's north driveway.

So I informed the cops of the situation, while the man decided to run for his freedom out of the station across the streetcar tracks at the southern entrance.

Smooth.

The cops took off in pursuit.

I went home.

It's been another fun day.

At least the streetcar tracks weren't blocked by anyone tonight.

Posted: Feb 29 2008, 12:10 AM by Krupo | with 5 comment(s)
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Comments

KPMG is humor challenged | AccMan said:

Pingback from  KPMG is humor challenged | AccMan

# February 29, 2008 1:27 PM

fleur_de_lis said:

Remind me not to go with you on ANY form of public transportation!

# February 29, 2008 8:20 PM

Fluffy Cow said:

I dunno Fleur... If you behave you wouldn't get turned in!!!

# March 2, 2008 9:14 AM

Krupo said:

I interpreted it as meaning I'm a trouble-magnet... :)

# March 2, 2008 3:53 PM

Meet the Firms OFFICIAL Site » KPMG overtime lawsuit settlement letters go out; unrelated … said:

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# March 6, 2008 4:20 PM