Business Etiquette Equity Lesson: Travelling in the back of the plane in Style
When downgraded from expected first class tickets for
whatever reason, make sure to still make use of the airport’s First Class Lounge to make you forget you’re not reclining
in a ultra-luxurious pod for the duration of the flight. See Business Etiquette Master Class for additional
guidance on instructions on use of the Lounge.
Having completed said Master Class, bear the following tips
in mind for the actual flight:
- The
baby seated with the young couple next to you in the “baby basinet
priority extra legroom row” will end up crying loudly in your ear for the
remainder of the flight.
- It will, however, gurgle happily while the plane taxis to the runway.
- Enjoy
the baby’s cuteness while it paws at your magazine during the airplane’s
taxi procedures on the runway. Point out that Feist is on the cover of the
magazine, and that the 767’s in-flight safety card is indeed yummy but
probably shouldn’t be tasted to confirm said fact.
- Following
the build-up of karma generated in step 2, immediately agree to any
suggestion from the flight attendants during the taxi procedure to move to
another empty row following takeoff.
Insights: the young couple gets a free third seat to help
accommodate their baby. You get to spend the rest of the flight surrounded by
other young childless people in other parts of the plane.
And most importantly, you’ve been express-relocated to two
or three empty seats which allow you the luxury of stretching your legs or
perhaps your entire body laterally, making it unbelievably easier to get work
done or write tongue-in-cheek travel guides.
Plus you don’t listen to a crying baby for the rest of the
flight. As happy as the baby looks now, it’s less than a year old, it’s his
first flight, and he will cry incessantly
in your ear if you don’t move.
And you’ll look a lot better than the jerk in row 33 who didn’t
follow the above guidance and received the scorn of his fellow travllers in
addition to having his already sketchy chicken and egg-rice dinner further
mishandled surreptitiously by the flight crew.