The death penalty is not too hot a topic for me to touch because I have asbestos mittens and calm, cool demeanor to match. I am a staunch advocate for the death penalty but only for a select few of society's worst, the ilk, the bottom feeders, those unable to be rehabilitated, those who should be sterilized, then injected with something poisonous, electrocuted, quartered, burned, and have their ashes thrown into the river.
People like, child molesters, violent sex offenders, and ceiling fan engineers.
This weekend was proof to me that purgatory does in fact exists as I spent hours on a ladder holding a 30 pound fan above my head, sweating, cursing, yelling, and breaking many commandments (and that was just trying to open the packaging) in an effort to retrofit the baby nursery with cool air.
It seemed so innocent, such a good idea at first. The room gets hot in the summer and stays cold in the winter...why not a ceiling fan to help address the issue? Nothing harmful here right? Oh little did I know that at the moment of my decision all the forces of hell would be unleashed in an all out attack on my soul and my sanity.
With two toddlers in tow weekend projects must be planned out with all the precision and timing of a professional - in between diapers, naps, snack time, and meals. Nothing is worse than standing 15 feet in the air watching your 19 month old son ram the cordless drill into his big sister at full speed.
I have installed many ceiling fans before and consider myself somewhat intelligent yet for the life of me I could not complete the simple task of hanging the fan and the more crucial task of getting it to work.
Three electrical wires and 72 man hours later all I have to show for it is a nursery with partially put together fan hanging useless from the ceiling waiting on the family electrician to come later in the week and while he doesn't charge he will belittle my efforts for 45 minutes before fixing the problem in less than 5.
For me the death penalty isn't harsh enough for those sadistic sons with no fathers who design these modern iron maidens of the mind and soul.