BJ Not BK

Hard to believe that in a few days 2006 will be over, where did the year go?

It is not uncommon, as the year winds down, to look back and reflect, to meditate on the successes and failures, to see where things went right, went horribly wrong, or didn't go at all.  It is also fairly common to look forward to the new year with hope for what is to come, with a clean slate, new goals, new or renewed dreams, and desires.

What goal did you set for yourself in 2006 that you accomplished?
What one thing do you wish you could do over?
What are some of your goals for 2007?

I will share mine tomorrow.

For the last several years I have had the good fortune to take the last two weeks off for vacation.  As I take time off from work I am also taking a small break from blogging...no worries as I plan to be back after Christmas with new posts going into 2007.

I would like to take this time to say "Merry Christmas" to each of you and to also say a huge "thank you" and "God bless you" for being a member of the Steeple Media family and a reader of BJ Not BK.

What one thing do you really want for Christmas?

Please no "World Peace" or "whirled peas".

If it wasn't official yesterday it is today.  The NBA is a bunch of thugs, gangstas, and punks.
Just in case you haven't seen the latest incident check out the brutual fight that broke out last night here  Carmelo's Punch

Apparently Carmelo was upset the Sly Stallone didn't cast him in his new flick Balboa.
Are these guys great athletes?  Sure.  But their physical capabilities is where it ends.  Where is the character?  The responsibility that comes with the priveledge of playing a game for a career and making millions while doing it?  Where is the gratitude to the fans for coming out week after week?  In short....where are the real men, the heroes of the game I use to look up to, use to admire?

I realize that there are many players in the NBA who are decent men, good players, good family men but those are heavily overshadowed by the majority.  Stern needs to get a grip on the league and inforce strict discipline on the players who bring about incidents like this.  Not only are the lives of the players at stake but the fans themselves are in jeopardy.  What will it take for the NBA to straighten its act up?  A full blown riot?  A death?

I'm through with the NBA for a bit. 

Al Gore is on his own personal crusade devoting his life to ridding the planet of carbon, saving us all from greenhouse gases and global warming.  Recently he visited with “The Oprah” counseling the wise one via the familiar couch, lecturing us all on the virtues of living “carbon free”.  What’s that?  Living carbon free?  Why would I want to do that?  Do I have to have another reason to feel guilty?  Do I need to add carbon guilt to my already long list of items that make me a “bad person” devoid of a soul in the eyes of the world?  I don’t think so.

 

I am taking up my own personal crusade today for carbon, for greenhouse gases, for global warming.  What’s wrong with global warming anyway?  In my opinion the world has been far too cold for far too long.  Who doesn’t want 70 degree Decembers?  And why would you not want to wear shorts in January?  I say bring back leaded gas, bring back the real Styrofoam, bring back chlorofluorocarbons, and every year just for kicks empty every air conditioner you have of Freon just for good measure.  Some say the hole in the ozone is too big….that’s just pessimism…I say it’s too small! 

 

The very people who state that we have the ability to destroy the world are the very same ones who worship the creation over the creator.  We can’t destroy something we don’t have control over.  While I am in total agreement with taking care of the beauty and natural resources of the planet I am not all in for total submission to it.

 

Am I worried about the end of the Earth, the melting of the polar caps, the thought of peanut butter sticking to the roof of my mouth?  Do I really care about carbon guilt?  Not one bit. 

 

I say crank up the heat, break out the Bermuda shorts, and pass the sun screen because we are in for one long hot winter and my tan could use some work.  

Christmas is under attack.  Merry Christmas is a no-no, not correct, not friendly, and definitely not inclusive so we are all told.  Advertisers are shifting from Merry Christmas to Happy Holidays.  No manger scenes allowed, no shepherds, no angels, no wise men (boy do we need wise men), and don't even think about the baby Jesus.  Merry is OK when coupled with holidays, events, happenings, or wintry mix..."Merry wintry Mix!"  Now doesn't that conjure up the memories?

Xmas is borderline OK because the word Christ has been "X'd" out but there is still the reference to "mas" or mass, the Christmas Mass which is a reference to the Catholic church which is a big no-no.  X is much better leaving out both the Christ and the mas/mass.  Merry X!

Classic cartoons like Charlie Brown Christmas are buried under scores of "new and improved" Christmas shows where rein deers fly, Molly gets cured of cancer, and Billy gets the train set he always wanted.  It's about the stuff anyway right?  No wonder so many people are saddened by Christmas. 

Good luck finding real Christmas cards by the way.  They come in two distinct flavors:
1.  Void of anything to do with Christ....."Happy cold day for presents"!
2.  Sappy

How about a manly Christmas Card? 

Revelation 19:11-16
  
11 Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse. And He who sat on him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. 12 His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns. He had a name written that no one knew except Himself. 13 He was clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God. 14 And the armies in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses. 15 Now out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should strike the nations. And He Himself will rule them with a rod of iron. He Himself treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. 16 And He has on His robe and on His thigh a name written:

      KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.

Let me ask you this?  Where is the push to remove Christ from Christmas coming from?  Survey after survey states that over 80% of the U.S. "claim" to be Christians.  Just who are we offending and why do we care?

Christmas is a holiday to celebrate Christ period....  If you aren't a Christian then by all means don't celebrate Christmas.  But why do we have to cease our celebration because it may or may not offend someone.

What is so offensive about God offering to forgive everyone of their past?  Forgiving them of their mistakes and offering them an eternal home in heaven?

I say fire up the yule log, break out your Bible and read the Christmas story, make your own Christmas cards, and don't be afraid to put some meaning behind your Christmas this year.

Oh, and have a Merry, God Blessed, Virgin Birth, Savior Born, Died, and Crucified for mine and your sins, resurrected by the True God, The Way the Truth, and the Life very very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

We have a great community here but unfortunately I don't know everyone out there.  I would love to learn a little bit more about you.  What do you do?  Where are you from?  What are your hobbies, passions?

I'll go first.

I am a sales professional living and working in the great state of Tennessee.  I am in my mid 30's and have an awesome wife, a beautiful little girl, and a new baby on the way.  I love reading.  My favorite authors are Hemmingway, Dostoyevsky, Kerouac,  Hamsun, C.S. Lewis, Francis Schaffer.  I love reading my Bible and I am a huge music fan.  My favorite groups are U2, Coldplay, Jack Johnson, Bob Marley, and Johnny Cash.  Currently I am listening to an incredible new CD, The Blind Boys of Alabama.

I love to run and have run 1 marathon, several 1/2 marathons, two bi-athalons, and numerous 5k and 10k races.  I love to hike and camp and I always look forward to swimming in the summer.

I don't really have many hobbies other than writting. 

Phew!  Ok, that's out there.  How about you?

We are now entering into the final weeks of the Christmas season.  Instead of peace on earth we now find ourselves running the gauntlet of shopping, gift wrapping, errand running, card mailing, bill paying, house decoration, and party going.  Oh, the parties!

 

There is the office party for you and the office party for the spouse.  There is your family’s party and your wife’s family party.  With the split family the schedule becomes more hectic with parties at Dad’s new home and Mom’s new home.  Not to mention visits to the grandparents and great grandparents for those of you who still have them with you.   

 

What is odd is that most people dread these gatherings.  Take the office party for example.  The office party use to be the time of year when everyone let lose and got really crazy, or so I am told.  You know what I mean?  The zeroxing of the be-hind, drinking too much eggnog, dancing, telling the boss what you really think.  All of these antics dated 1990 pre. P.C. (political correctness).  Now office parties are more like mandatory meetings devoid of life, sucked dry of any fun or danger.

 

Family get togethers are also becoming more dreaded as we continue to drift apart.  Small talk and football fills the gaps between gluttony and opening unwanted gifts, “Oh look!  Another dancing Santa doll.  How did you know?  Thanks uncle….what’s your name again?”

 

How do we put the life back into the parties?  How can we begin to bridge the gap between what once was and what is?  Or have we gone too far to turn back?

 

Either way I will see you at the annual bjnotbk black tie affair next Tuesday night.  I will be the one wearing the Tux, drinking eggnog, and holding a dancing Santa doll.

 

 

 

 

As a National Account Manager in a large sales organization cliches and analogies are a way of life.
The sales profession has always been associated with cheesy cliches and the direct link to sports via analogies are unbreakable. Here is a recent transcript from our Monday morning sales meeting:

"Alright team, it is a new month, a new day, a new beginning. Time to wake up and smell the coffee. We have to T up all of our deals early this month, we are in the back nine of this year and we really need to bring it to the clubhouse strong. I want each of you to touch base with your clients, put out the feelers so to speak, and take a temperature read of where their head is at. Sales is a contact sport so the more touches you have this month, the better your success rate will be and the more dead president's you will be able to take home. Every cloud has it's silver lining and this bad boy is no different. So gird up your loins and take this bull by both horns. Because if you don't knock one out of the park this month for the team then I am going to take you down to Chinatown."

Ok, did any of your understand the message trying to be communicated here? Am I the only one who goes through this or does every industry have something similar? Teachers? Project Managers? What is the worst cliche you have heard?

I can remember wanting a pair of Air Jordans when I was in middle-school.  It was the mid 80’s and his Airness was ruling the basketball court.  We had cable and I had a TV in my room.  One of the channels I watched weekly was the one broadcasted out of Chicago because they always aired the Bull’s games.  I followed Jordan all through middle-school and into high school.  I had his cards, his posters, a Bulls shirt, but there is one thing I never owned……the elusive Air Jordan sneakers.

 

My parents weren’t too excited about shelling out $150.00 on a pair of sneakers.  I am not sure that they truly appreciated the craft and skill Michael brought to the game not beauty of the sneakers.  I tried to convince them that allowing me to possess the shoes would enable my game, help me rise to the next level….they weren’t buying it and they didn’t buy the sneakers either.

 

And I grew up just fine…or did I?  Apparently Marketers are tapping into our prosperity and our childhood by bringing back “retro” items.  Shoes, clothing, cars, anything that takes us out of today and places us back into yesteryear when everything was a little less complicated, a little more innocent.  Does it work?

 

Well, last week my wife and I were at the mall and what caught my eye?  No, it wasn’t the half clad, big bone girl adds at Layne Bryant….no, there up in front of me at the Finish Line on the display…there they were, new, crisp, clean, just like they were in middle-school…just like they were in my dreams.  I thought I heard the hallelujah chorus playing in the background.  My knees felt weak and I began to reach for my wallet.

 

Wait…was I really going to pay $150.00 for a pair of shoes?  Or was I going to pay $150.00 to reclaim a piece of my youth?  To finally achieve my childhood goal of owning the elusive Air Jordans I so desired as a child?

 

I quickly turned my head and took slow deeps breaths in an effort to regain my composure.  Believe it or not I walked away.  My hope is that Santa will bring me the gift that keeps giving…a pair of Air Jordans and if he doesn’t?  I may just have to make a trip to the mall after all?

 

What have you purchased in an effort to reclaim your youth?

be patient as this takes a few seconds to load...but well worth the wait...maybe?

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO JOE NAPALM!

Hope you enjoy!

You are a college graduate....she is also a college graduate. You both are well read, cultured, even at some points in the relationship civilized yet you can't come to terms with the explosive events that occur every Friday night. Like a Hezbollah gorilla it sneaks across the border of your life dropping rockets of malcontent onto an already hectic day.

She stares at you smiling, hoping to lure you into her trap knowing that the question will come, as it always does,

"Where would you like to go for dinner sweetie?"
You flinch as the words release knowing that once in motion there will be no sustainable ceasefire tonight.
"Oh, it doesn't matter to me...wherever you like is fine."
Clearly she has you in her clutches now, manipulating, playing with your head like a cat over it's catch.
"How about some place nice like Taco Bell?" You ask timidly.
"No...not in the mood for that tonight."
"How about Italian."
"Not feeling it babe." She retorts.
"Burgers?"
"MMMMMMM, no, not so much."
"Fish?"
"Are you joking?"
"Thai? Chinese? Japanese?"
"No. No. No."
"Ok...where?"
"Oh, it doesn't matter to me you pick."

Kablooooom! In a moment lives destroyed, maimed, changed forever.

It has been proven in households across the globe that two, well read, educated adults who love each other greatly, cannot decide peacefully on a Friday dinner date location. If this is correct, how in the Sam Hill do we expect a "Sustainable Cease Fire" to take place between Hezbollah and Israel? Now inject mother-n-law France and Uncle Russia into the mix and that really hideous cousin UN, who nobody likes, in an effort to make the peace. Results?

I see a lot of folks going hungry.

You can't believe how ecstatic I was upon hearing that the New York City government was finally moving to cut the fat.  I am sick of big government and have always been a fan of "governs best that governs least."  Not sure you are aware of the enormous tax liability that New Yorkers are faced with but I have heard it is upwards of 40%.  Plus, New York often sets the tone for other cities and states across the country so I am excited that the officials elected to serve the people are finally looking to cut big govern.........

"What?  There not cutting government?  But I thought they were...  You have got to be kidding me!  There banning trans-fats?  For our health, to protect us, to give us better quality of life."

New York health officials have now determined that you and I are no longer capable of making wise food choices.  I have seen it all now.  Big government stepping in to regulate our diets all in the name of public service.  How did we go from government by the people for the people to a quasi-police state dictating what fats we can and can't eat?

You mean I can get abortion on demand as a 13 year old girl without parental consent but I can't eat a funnel cake in New York City? What happened to pro-choice?  I can euthanize my 87 year old grandmother but I can't have a Twinkie and bacon milkshake because in 40 or 50 years I might have high triglycerides?  Give me a break already.

Next you are going to tell me that I have to wear my seatbelt, wear a helmet, the government is installing cameras at red-lights, that....oh wait, never mind.

When does personal responsibility kick in? Or are we all just a bunch of victims? 

"I am too fat because you make your french fries with trans-fats".

No, you're too fat because you eat 8 Big Macs a day, drink a six pack of sodas, and lie on the couch...not that there is anything wrong with that.

Do we really need government stepping in on issues like this?  How about closing down the borders, making English the official language, or get this....win the war on terror?

When did banning trans-fats take precedent over killing Bin Laden, reducing crime, stabilizing the traditional family, reducing drug use, or making bus stops smell like cookies?

I have to tell you I am fed up!  No more!  Join me today in protest by eating at the trans-fat pusher of your choice while we still have the chance and seriously contemplate this...what kind of a world will our children live in that doesn't have Twinkie and bacon flavored milkshakes?

Are you tired of getting the unperfect gift?  Something you will never use, something that doesn't quite fit?  I am pleased to offer you the new and improved www.bjnotbk.com  always the right size, always the perfect fit.  Enjoy!

Yesterday was a complete blur to me.  Where is the time going?  Can you believe that Christmas is almost here?  20 days and counting.  Do you have all of your decorations up?  How about your shopping?  I know some of you already have your decorations up, shopping done, and presents wrapped.

Me?  Not even close.  Too much on my mind lately to focus or concentrate.  Here are a couple of things I have been thinking about.

1.  Why hasn't anyone invented bread with mayonaise injected into it?  Think of how much time
      we all could save.
2.  I have to hear the Chipmunk Song this year.  I haven't heard it yet!  Only 20 more days!
3.  What do I get the woman who has everything who is my everything?
4.  Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
5.  What is the one thing you want this year, doesn't have to be material.
6.  Will Gilligan ever get off the island?
7.  Where can I find the flame thrower Joe Napalm wants for Christmas?