I took a little break from writing posts. I didn't stay away on purpose. It's just that some weeks are more hectic than others and my children need a little more attention if you know what I mean. Especially my dear little girl, L, who struggles with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).
L just finished her last feeding therapy class on Friday. For 12 weeks we went every Friday to a therapy center for L to learn how to eat. I know that sounds weird, especially if you have children who eat with no problems. And if you yourself struggles to eat less (like me). Not only was L learning how to overcome some sensory issues to eat, I was learning a lot about trying to help an SPD child to eat more variety. This is what I learned: eating is life's most difficult activity because it requires the use of all your senses all at once. And, therefore, if you have a neurological disorder that gets in the way of how you process sensations, eating can become a huge challenge. I know most toddlers are picky eaters. We certainly have a picky eater in our home. L's picky eating, and absolute refusal to eat on some days, gained L a failure to thrive diagnosis about six months ago. Some days she may eat very well and then other days she may only eat a hand full of crackers. Among many other things, the therapists observing L recognized that she has problems feeling food in her mouth. This causes her to cram extra in her mouth or chew an extra long time. Sometimes she crams her fingers in her mouth while she's chewing on foods. It gives her extra sensory input while eating. This explains why she loves crunchy and cold foods -- it's extra sensory input. In addition, L has other sensory issues that get in her way when exploring new or different foods.
SPD is a fairly complicated thing to understand. On the surface, L shows no symptoms. Unless you really get to know L you may never realize she suffers from such a thing. And luckily she does not suffer from symptoms as drastically as other children with SPD. SPD is usually associated with other disabilities such as autism and Aspergers. However, a child like L can have difficulties processing sensory input from her environment, which on its own can cause a disability.
I've heard SPD explained this way: When we interact with our environment, our brains are like computers. Our brains quickly sift through information entering through our senses. Our brain automatically files those sensations away into the appropriate places -- should I react to or ignore the sensation? For instance, if you live near railroad tracks (like we do) you will begin to screen out the sound of a train. Your brain immediately files away that sensation as unimportant. It simply becomes a background noise that you may no longer notice. Your brain automatically does this without you having to give any thought to the process. Another example is when your air conditioner in your home kicks on and off. You probably don't even notice this sound anymore.
However, if you have a neurological disorder such as SPD, your brain does not learn to properly file away sensations. Your brain resorts to the "primitive brain" reactions such as fight, flight or fright. This happens to L. When she hears the train rolling by for the 100th time, her brain tells her to fight, flight or fright. When you were a baby, you had many primitive brain reactions as you were learning and exploring your world. But as you explored, you learned what things required a reaction from you. A barking dog running towards you would warrant a reaction, but the humming sound from the air conditioner does not require a reaction. If you take this sense of hearing example and apply it to the other senses, such as touch, sight, smell, proprioceptive and vestibular, it's totally amazing how quickly our brains process information from all the ways information enters our bodies every second. Right now I'm sitting in a chair with my eyes glued to a computer monitor while my fingers peck away at the keys. I do this activity with little problem because my brain is processing everything correctly. I'm aware through touch where each key is located. I feel secure and comfortable because my bottom is planted firmly in a soft chair. And my eyes are reading and comprehending the words on the screen as I type. Amazing, really, if you stop to think about the simple act of working on your PC.
Now just imagine for a second that a few of your senses are affected by a neurological disorder. All of a sudden, your brain cannot properly process the information in an efficient way. Wow! What a frustrating world to live in. That's the world my little girl lives in on a daily basis. Sometimes this frustration bubbles over and she cries a lot at everything. This may appear to outsiders as a misbehaving little girl (and because she is two years old it can sometimes be her age shining through). But knowing in advance the struggles she faces -- the sun is too bright, her shirt is too itchy, her sense of balance is compromised, etc. -- can give us insight into why she seems to be overreacting.
With L, SPD manifests itself in the way she likes to control her environment. She likes things the same. The same foods, the same music, the same people in the same room, and the list goes on. It's out of sheer survival that she strives for sameness. She also does not like unexpected touch from other children or adults. Children are notorious for bumping and shoving because to them it's fun and not a problem. To L this becomes a problem. Her brain is trying to process each sensation and it quickly becomes a frustration. If L is over-stimulated from lots of extra sensations, she does not like being touched or handled unless she invites it. When she pulls away from hugs and pats, she's not being anti-social or hateful. She's just over-stimulated from the extra sensations. Her brain needs time to process and re-boot.
Everyone has "sensory issues." If you stop to think about yourself, I'm sure there are things that set you off. I have a few of my own. One thing for sure is having wet feet. I don't like stepping in wet spots on the kitchen or bathroom floor. I will stop everything to get the wetness off my feet. I cannot move on until my feet are dry again. This is one example. I'm sure you have a few too.
So if you know L and see us out, especially if she's melting down, please understand the challenges she faces on a daily basis. And if you think about us sometimes, please say a special prayer for L and her trying-to-be-patient-and-understanding Mommy.
I'm all about very cool children's resources, especially if they are educational and free. And this resource ranks up there as one of the coolest: www.Storynory.com. If you have an iPod or MP3 player, then you will love this site for your children. Storynory provides free audio stories for children in the form of podcasts. Check it out!
My least favorite part of being a mom is punishing my child (S is too young to need punishment). It is a neccessary evil. I want my kids to be well-behaved and obedient for many reasons, but mainly because they need to be. Today was one of those days. For some reason lately L has decided to spit out liquids from her mouth onto the kitchen floor, living room carpet, onto her toys, books, and just about everywhere. I don't know exactly why she is doing it. I suspect she sees her little brother, who is only three months old, drool and spit-up.
On countless occasions I've explained to her that it's not nice to spit, especially with a mouth full of juice or milk. Today she decided she would spit out a mouth full of juice on her indoor slide and watch it trickle down to the carpet. I said "No!" and cleaned up the juice spit at least three different times. And then she took a mouth full of juice and spit it onto her library books. "Uuugh!" I don't want to pay for those books if they get ruined. Luckily the books were closed and they have plastic jackets on them so the clean-up was easy. But that was the final incident and I was tired of L not listening to me any longer! I scooped her up and whisked her to my bedroom and closed the door. I sat her on the bed and told her what she had done wrong, yet again, and then I spanked her. She cried. I wanted to cry too because I hate that part of parenting. She calmed down quickly and I loved on her. We then went about our day.
After naptime today she woke up happy and rested. I took her into my room to put on her shoes before going outside to play. I sat her up on my bed to put her shoes on and she said, "Mommy spanked my big bare bottom." I wanted to crack up. I have no idea where she got the "big bare" part. And then when Daddy got home today the first thing she said to him was, "Mommy spanked me." Wow! That made me feel like a huge winner! Of all the very cool things we did together today, she decided to point out the spanking. That wasn't the first spanking she had ever received, but I guess it made more of an impact than all the rest -- or now she's verbal enough to talk more about it.
Nevertheless, I hated to spank her. I'm sure it won't be the last. But one thing is for sure, there was no more spitting for the rest of the day. We'll see about tomorrow.
I've always wanted to learn how to sew, but not until recently have I felt motivated enough to carve out an afternoon to apprentice under my mom, a very talented seamstress. When she found the time between raising us and teaching school, my mom would make dresses and outfits for me. I remember the last thing she made for me was a sleeveless dress that I wore to my brother's wedding over 10 years ago. It was so much fun flipping through the McCall's and Butterick pattern books looking for my newest outfit. And then my favorite part was choosing the fabrics and notions that my mom would transform into my new outfit in a day or so.
I never paid much attention to what my mom was doing. I just remembered her clearing off the dining room table and spreading out fabric and tissue-paper patterns. Then I remember the buzzing sound of the sewing machine. In a few hours she would request that I slip on a partially sewn garment. She would pinch and pin the garment around my body until it fit me perfectly. The sewing machine would buzz some more and a few more hours would pass. Finally she would present me with my brand new outfit. Very exciting!
Now that I have my own little girl, I'm determined to learn how to sew. I spent the afternoon with my mom and for the first time I've begun to learn each step that it takes to transform a pattern, fabric, and notions into a cute little jumper dress* for L. Sewing is definitely more complicated than I ever imagined but I'm already hooked. I've begun imagining all the adorable custom-made outfits that I can create especially for my children. And if I get good enough and we are blessed with a third child, I would love to make a custom nursery. Oh the creations I will make! What fun!
* I purchased enough fabric to make five jumpers and one sundress. My mom explained the best way to learn how to sew is to pick a simple pattern and make several of the same outfit in different fabrics. This way I will get comfortable with the process and with using the sewing machine. As I complete the jumpers I will provide some photos.
I'm in the midst of a Nike+ iPod challenge with BJ. The challenge is to see who reaches 21 miles first. I'm 0.5 miles ahead right now, but I could easily slip if I don't get a long run done tomorrow. I skipped running today since our family went to a cookout/badminton tournament. Being out in the heat really drained me! Maybe I can log about 4-5 miles tomorrow. Who do you think will win? The Sarcasm King (aka BJ not BK)? Or the trash-talkin' mother of two? May the best woman win!!