Sometimes I think that we parents can overlook the importance of the daddy-daughter relationship. Through the years, we've come to understand how much sons need strong father-figures in their lives in order for them to become strong, responsible men. But unfortunately, I don't believe the same emphasis has been placed on father-figures in daughters' lives. Strong daddy-daughter relationships lead to well-adjusted, confident young women who are more likely to make wiser decisions when choosing boyfriends and mates, and less likely to engage in premarital sex, therefore, reducing teenage pregnancies.
Maybe deep down inside we understand the importance of this fundamental daddy-daughter relationship, but sometimes we can fail to recognize the practical steps that it takes to build a strong one. Therefore, I wanted to develop a list of steps to help dads get started building, mending and/or nurturing their daddy-daughter relationships:
1. Build up and compliment her often. In a world where the media emphasizes a young woman's appearance over all other attributes, your daughter will be daily bombarded with messages that she is not pretty enough, smart enough or talented enough. To counteract these messages, a daughter needs lots or reassurance from her father. And even though daughters need reassurance from both mom and dad, a father's praise is much more powerful.
2. Be her superhero and always rescue her when she calls, and sometimes even when she doesn't call. There's no better way to make a daughter feel valued, safe and protected than for her daddy to rescue her when she needs help. This will give her the confidence to test her independence because she will know that her father is there to help if she fails. And because she will be sizing up young men who could become her potential spouse, she will learn to accept nothing less than the way her father valued and cared for her.
3. Show interest in girly things, too. Okay, we all know that fathers are guys and guys like guy things. This works out great if you have nothing but a house full of boys. But if there is a girl living under your roof, you will need to show interest in things that interest her, too. This might require you to listen to her jabber on about girly stuff like her upcoming ballet recital or you may need to take her shopping for a new dress and matching shoes. It's okay to be interested in what she is interested in - you will not lose man points. In fact, you earn more man points for being confident enough in your manhood to talk with your daughter about girly things. She will learn that it's okay for her to be a girl and to be feminine. She also needs the quality time with you just like your sons do.
4. Show outward love and affection toward her. There is no greater way to make your daughter feel loved and valued than to hug her and tell her that you love her. Some guys may find this outward display very awkward. That's okay, but you still need to do it because your daughter is learning about who she is by the way you treat her. She will not understand that you are just uncomfortable with outward affection. If you do not show her outwardly that she is lovable, then she is learning that she is unlovable. This can create a whole bunch of self-esteem and confidence problems for your daugther in the future.
This is probably not an exhaustive list, but it was some tips that I have gathered over the years through my own personal experience and through talking with other young ladies. If you have other tips to add to this list, please share them in the comments section of this blog. We can all benefit from each other's words of wisdom.